When you're fine...but not really

You might be smiling, scrolling, and saying “I’m fine,” but inside it feels overwhelming, messy and exhausting. It matters and you’re not alone.

In the dim red glow of his bedroom, a young man sits on the floor, his hands covering his face in a moment of solitude and contemplation.

From the outside, it might look like you’re doing okay. You’re getting through school, college or work. You’re showing up. You’re handing things in (sometimes five minutes before the deadline or at exactly11:59!). You might even hear people say, “You seem fine.”

But on the inside, it can feel very different. Heavier, messier, more confusing. You might feel overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, disconnected, or unsure of yourself; even if you're not totally sure why.

A lot of young people feel this way. They’re coping, but it takes a huge amount of effort. Like when you finally chill at the end of the day and think, Why am I this tired when I didn’t even do that much?

When it doesn’t feel “bad enough” to talk about

Struggling doesn’t always mean having a big breakdown or dramatically sobbing on your bedroom floor (although that absolutely happens & is sometimes necessary!). Sometimes it looks quieter. It might be feeling constantly on edge, zoning out mid-conversation, snapping at small things, or feeling oddly numb.

You might feel like you're wearing a mask or going through the motions; laughing at the right bits, replying “I’m good” on autopilot, while feeling disconnected inside. You might not have the words for it, just a sense that something's not right.

And because it’s not obvious or dramatic, it’s easy to tell yourself it’s “not that serious”. That you should just push through. That others have it worse.

But it still counts.

Why so many young people keep it to themselves

A lot of young people worry about being a burden or making things awkward. Some feel pressure to seem like everything is 'fine'.. Others don’t talk because they genuinely don’t know where to start . Explaining feelings can feel harder than just scrolling and hoping they disappear.

And sometimes, when young people do try to open up, the response doesn’t exactly help. A parent might mean well but say something like, “You’re fine , you just need an early night,” or “Everyone feels like that at your age,” or the classic, “When I was young…”

Even when it comes from care, it can make you think, what's the point in saying anything because no one understands.

Over time, keeping everything inside can feel lonely. You can be surrounded by friends and family and

still feel like no one really knows how you’re doing.

How counselling can help

Counselling isn’t about having everything figured out or giving a perfect explanation of your feelings. You don’t need a big reason, a plan, or the “right” words.

It’s a space where you can talk things through at your own pace; including the confusing, messy, “I don’t even know why I feel like this” parts. There’s no pressure to be impressive, positive, or okay.

For some young people, counselling helps them understand themselves better. For others, it’s just a relief to talk to someone who listens properly and doesn’t jump straight to fixing, advising, or saying, “Have you tried being more organised?”

A gentle reminder

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not weak or a burden , and you’re definitely not the only one. Coping on the outside while struggling on the inside is something many young people experience, even if it doesn’t always show.

You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable to ask for support. Noticing that something feels off is already enough of a reason to talk to someone.